TeamDavis

musings on marriage, faith and life

Schooling Dilemma, part 2 October 15, 2010

Filed under: books, music, media,culture,Education,faith,family — hokiecaryn @ 10:57 pm

We have been deeply pondering the topic of raising and educating our children for a number of years. One regular topic of conversation has been the idea of homeschooling our children, at least through their elementary school years. We’ve engaged in this conversation with certain friends, but in general it’s felt… unsafe… to discuss. Opinions and feelings vary widely. But, with trembling, we feel like we should start talking more openly about what we are learning — to gain insights from our friends, and to share the insights we have gained. Though what we write below may sound dogmatic, understand that it is written in a spirit of humility and friendship.  Ultimately, this decision comes down to each family’s personal conviction. — Scott & Caryn

We’ve often had discussions with friends about another question in the dilemma – is it right to abandon the government (public) schools? If the “good” people leave, will they just degrade more?  Is it our place to stay involved?  These are also hard questions to answer and I hear many people questioning this when they look at alternatives to public school.

In Schooling Dilemma, Part 1, we took a quick look at the question of homeschooling. Now let’s dig in a bit deeper together…

First, we consider the conversations with several neighbors and friends in different parts of the country questioning whether their children are even learning in school.  Even teacher friends attest that students acquire knowledge for standardized testing and waste a large chunk of their day in travel to school, administrative tasks (attendance, class changes) and dealing with misbehaving classmates.  Literacy rates are falling and schools are failing. This is not to knock teachers by the way. They are not always the problem.

It seems an interesting option to teach and train at home, have children more effectively learn and efficiently use their time; and then use the extra time to engage together in the community.  Choosing alternative school options does not withdraw students or parents from society at large.  We can engage in extracurricular activities which do overlap with the government school realm (or local city/county leagues), at public venues such as libraries and rec centers, at playgrounds and Chick-fil-a.  A book Caryn read recently even suggested that as tax paying citizens, you are able to enroll your children in certain classes/activities with the public school even if they are officially home schooled. And then of course later there are opportunities with community colleges, etc. We have many interesting options available today.

(more…)

 

More on Grief, Loss & Sorrow August 14, 2010

Filed under: faith — hokiecaryn @ 12:50 am
Tags: , , ,

Wow, what an inviting topic for a post. I won’t be apologetic though.

Many smarter, wiser, and experienced people have gone before me in this journey of entering grief, loss and sorrow; for them I am thankful.  Beginning almost 10 years ago now, before experiencing (or recognizing and dealing with) my own grief, loss and sorrow, I tried entering into some authors and people’s lives on these topics.  It felt foreign to me until I was able to recognize my own journey in them, and connect with my own personal experiences.

Scott and I shared several posts around Easter of last year reflecting on difficult pain and suffering, and God: Haiti & Suffering, Dallas Willard on never tasting death, and reflections from women who have lost a child. Those are all good to revisit.

In the past, when someone was hurting  I would keep them at arm’s length, say “I’m sorry”, and then try to say something positive and move on.  I know how trite and unhelpful this was, but it was my initial response in my ignorance. Having journeyed deep into grief, loss and sorrow, I now have a little more understanding of why “they” encourage you to offer a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and an open door to talk. And to offer silence, without answers. (more…)

 

On Grief, Loss and Sorrow August 13, 2010

Filed under: faith — hokiecaryn @ 3:51 am
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It’s the middle of the night. I’m awake and can’t get back to sleep.

Neither can my son apparently.

Instead of agonizing about not sleeping (since I’d already done this for about an hour) I got up to write. Tonight triggered me into deeper thinking on topics I have resisted recently. Topics that aren’t really pleasant to think about, feel, or share — sorrow, grief, loss.

I actually ran across a saved draft of a post that I never finished. Since I wrote the text below almost 3 years ago, hopefully it’s safe to share at this odd hour.

This was what I wrote to an email-group of parents dealing with grief that I was moderating at the time (another story). These parents shared in a common grief, and to be a part of their sharing together was awkward at first, but I found it most humbling and educating to be invited into their pain and their search for light in dark places. In the year of 2009, I had my own very dark places to trod.  Remembering my previous experience with others’ grief helped me tremendously. I’ll share what this group inspired me to pen almost 3 years ago as I tried to encourage them in their own grief journeys. (more…)

 

Unashamed March 18, 2010

Filed under: faith — Scott @ 9:10 am

A wonderful quote was brought to my attention by The City, a journal published by Houston Baptist University. You can read the latest issue of The City in online form, and even subscribe to the print journal for free. It really is a very good Christian journal, and available for free to anyone. I highly recommend it.

Anyway, here is the quote from Gennadius, who died ca. 496.

Those who objected to the Christian gospel ridiculed it, mocking it because of its absurdity. For there is nothing more ridiculous than the word of someone who preaches that the Son of God was born and brought up by Jews, who rejects neither the cross nor death, who says moreover not only that Christ rose from the dead but that he ascended to heaven as Lord of all, that he will raise everyone else from the dead, and other things the apostles preached. The pagans mocked these things and ridiculed them, thinking that they would make the apostles shut up. Therefore Saint Paul, feeling obliged to reply to this opinion of the apostles, began his teaching thus: I am not ashamed of the gospel.

- Gennadius of Constantinople, Sermons

Though the gospel is utter foolishness to the nations (1 Corinthians 1:23), it is in fact the wisdom and the power of God. May we too be unashamed.

 

Brothers and Sisters July 27, 2009

Filed under: books, music, media,faith — hokiecaryn @ 3:22 pm
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sisters_web

[A journal entry from Oct 7, 2007. I ran across it and it was a good reminder for me; thought I'd share it.]

As I read 1 John (in the Bible) this week, I was impacted by John’s distinction of Christians being known for their love, especially towards their brothers and sisters. I realized that in the past, I have read that as “love the brothers and sisters in your church.” Sometimes that can be hard enough!

But I was challenged how my attitude and cynicism can build up towards other believers, most of whom I have not even met. For example, I have heard stories of people being deeply wounded by pastors or church leaders to the point of turning away from God.  One example I was recently challenged through was in reading the journey of Sheila Walsh through serious depression, and taking steps to pursue healing.  On this journey, as shared  through her book Honestly, she conveys things that were said to her when she was at the end of herself in emotional mess, and finally reached out for help. When reading the words of some of her colleagues and friends who said stupid and unloving things (mostly out of ignorance and fear of emotions), my reaction could be “those idiots!” or “I want to punch them.”  The things they said cut deeply. But the reality is that they are believers, (or at least professed). And the world watches how we treat them.

Obviously, for all recorded history, people have done horrible things in the name of Christ. Healthy distance from those who are damaging souls and some distinctions are necessary.

Yet looking at what John writes, and knowing the “world” does lump Christians together; even if we bristle at being combined with some of our relatives.

John (who’s closest ministry partners were slaughtered, mind you) says that those who have hate towards his brother are living in darkness.

I know I have traveled down this path of animosity, bitterness, and speaking ill of my brothers and sisters in Christ. How then do we pursue life and the integrity and unity of the Church?  For starters, I have watched the example of leaders I respect, calling out non-Christ-like behavior, without completely destroying the person they are referring to. Sheila Walsh went back to some people who hurt her and had very restoring, healing conversations.  While some conversations did not pan out, many of her colleagues and friends confessed their inadequacy to respond well, and their expression of sorrow for hurting her. Sheila found healing as she released her own anger toward them that could have destroyed her.

What a beautiful thing Christ can do in his redemptive way.

May we be open to His workings and not our own judgments and standards.

 

Filling the hole July 9, 2009

Filed under: faith,Parenthood — hokiecaryn @ 1:23 pm
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Besides all the talking that Josiah is doing these days, he’s definitely for the past few weeks wanted everything in his mouth.  For many years, I’ve heard people glean life lessons often from small things that their children do.  The overwhelming experience we’ve had while we’ve enjoyed the presence of Josiah in our life is the overwhelming love we have for him, and just holding and squeezing him and knowing our Father in Heaven does the same for us.  I have learned many other things, but my latest is God just revealing a picture to me.

As Josiah stuffs his thumb, his elephant’s ear, a toy ring, the burp cloth, our finger if it’s passing by his face — or any

Favorite Blue Elephant

Favorite Blue Elephant

combination of the above into his little mouth, his whole body sometimes wriggles and writhes trying to smash it in more it seems.  It’s like he can’t quite fill his mouth, and get everything he wants in there.  Sometimes he’s content with just his thumb and the burp cloth wrapped around his thumb.  Or some other solitary object.  But it’s just funny those times that he wriggles and stuffs and tries different combinations. [by the way, the elephant is a favorite toy]

It reminds me of me. Of us.  Trying to almost violently stuff things into our hearts to (1) make us feel better and less lonely, (2) fill our need for “stuff”, or (3) help us feel satisfied and self-sufficient.  While she’s not the first to have penned these words, Plumb’s singer/songwriter’s lyrics come to mind…

There’s a God-shaped hole in all of us
And the restless soul is searching
There’s a God-shaped hole in all of us
And it’s a void only he can fill – Plumb, “God-Shaped Hole”

That stuffing that Josiah does, the wriggling and restless-ness to meet his need….that’s a picture of me.  It’s cute for a baby, not as cute for me.  It kind of is like one of those moments of remembering the campaign advert that was out around the time I was in high school by the anti-smoking council or whomever.  It showed a girl tarred and gross all over her flesh.  It said something like “if what happened on the inside showed itself on the outside, would you want to smoke?”  it was pretty effctive for me, I’ll tell you what.  But I feel like sometimes with a baby in his innocence, he reveals his true flesh-nature in just being himself.  It’s fine, he’s learning, and that’s what babies do.  But his acts are just a version of how we are, we just manage to package it better most of the time!

Anyway, I want to think on what I’m trying to stuff into my God-shaped hole, and where I need to just let go and ask God to fill me more.  How can He get in when we’re cramming a bunch of drool-soaked toys in there?!

 

Born Into Brothels May 4, 2009

Filed under: books, music, media,faith,family — Scott @ 9:13 pm
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The children of the brothel

The children of the brothel

This movie has been on my netflix queue for about a year. I’ve wanted to watch it since I heard of it, but somehow it never felt like a good time to watch.

But really, when would be a “good” time to watch a documentary about children born into brothels in the slums of Calcutta, India? So I finally watched it this evening. And sobbed my way through it.

An American photographer in India became interested in the plight of women and children in the red light district of Calcutta and decided to live among them. The brothels are full of children, and she began handing out cameras and teaching the children to take photographs. The documentary is the story of these children, their pictures, and their lives in the brothels.

It’s quite jarring at first, peering into the hard lives of the children. It’s shocking to see the conditions in which they live, the awkwardness of these little ones in the midst of the sex trade. And yet it is somehow fitting to see the results of prostitution through their eyes. After all, sex is kind of about children.

Isn’t it?

So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.
God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.”
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (Genesis 1:27-28;2:24)

I felt the truth of this passage as I came to know the children through the camera’s lens. I came to know them, not as the outcasts of society, not as the children of prostitutes, not as a failure of contraception, but as human beings, created in God’s own image. Children whose lives are precious in His sight. I came to love and care for them.

By the way, the Sonagachi district alone is estimated to have around 10,000 sex workers and who knows how many children (whether they are working or not).

This movie is strong medicine, a view of lust from the other side. For some reason, God’s most precious gifts are those we abuse the most and use to destroy one another.

I mean sex. But I also mean the children.

May God have mercy on us, and may His just reign soon come on earth as it is in heaven.

 

More Easter thoughts April 12, 2009

Filed under: faith — hokiecaryn @ 9:13 am
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I am really thankful this weekend of Easter to remember the truth…thatit_is_finished

God is the God of this city
He’s the King of these people
He’s the Lord of this nation

He’s the Light in this darkness
He’s the Hope to the hopeless
He’s the Peace to the restless

I am grateful that there is no one like our God;
and that greater things have yet to come
greater things are still to be done here.

(Thank you Chris Tomlin for the lyrics I’ve used here from “God of this City”)

I need to remember the Truth we have. My faith is small and I’m very forgetful. I’m thankful that He’s given us His Word, He’s given lyricists songs to embed in our memory, and he’s given us holidays, like Easter, to take time out and reflect on specific events like the resurrection to remember His goodness. My memory is very bad, and He knows I need these helps to remember where my hope comes from. It’s too easy to get caught up and bogged down by disappointments here. I know God has more for me. More for my family. More for His people, and for the world.

easter_eggsOh, and I like that Easter has spring flowers, pretty dresses, bunnies, and Easter egg hunts, but I’m glad that’s not at ALL what it’s about….that’s just fluff. The REAL story is riveting and unbelievably good.

 

you will never taste death April 11, 2009

cross gravestone“Truly, truly, I say to you,
if anyone keeps my word,
he will never taste death.”
-Jesus, John 8:51

Well that’s certainly a nice sentiment. Of course it’s not really true, I mean everyone dies, right? Since the time when Jesus rose from the dead, everyone who has lived, died, and everyone who has died, stayed dead.

Well, maybe it has some kind of nice but smaller metaphorical meaning. Perhaps Jesus is saying that those who keep his word will not experience terrible tragedy. That has a nice comforting ring to it — we all want to believe that if we obey Jesus (or at least do our best) we will be protected from the bad things of life. Unfortunately that belief system breaks down quickly when you meet people who love God, follow Jesus more closely that you could ever hope to, and yet experience great pain and suffering. Besides, Jesus himself said that “in this life you will have great troubles and trials.”

So much for the sentimentality.

Then what could Jesus possibly mean by such a bald statement as “if anyone keeps my word, he will never taste death”? (more…)

 

Easter Reflections: Losing a child April 9, 2009

Filed under: faith,family,Parenthood,pregnancy — hokiecaryn @ 11:27 pm
bye bye pebble baby

bye bye pebble baby

Today I read an article by my friend Brenna Kate, telling about losing her unborn child earlier this year. I wept, holding my son in my lap as I read her story, Bye Bye, Pebble Baby

In response, I wrote to her thanking her for taking the bold step of publicly sharing about her miscarriage and writing so personally of what it was like. I don’t think everyone has to share so publicly, but I appreciate that all the women who have lost can hear other women share their experiences.

As an outsider who has not lost, but who has known several women who have lost children to either miscarriage or abortion, I see that many of these mothers stay in a silent doom alone in their grief. Our culture wrestles with whether the fetus is even a living being with a soul, and we adopt a gnostic philosophy of detachment between soul and body. But I believe deep down we ALL KNOW (whether we believe in God or not) that the creator created this life and the death of an unborn child is a terrible tragedy, someone so helpless, who never had the chance to make choices or “do good” or choose evil.  How do we reconcile that?! (more…)

 

The Fatherhood of God March 14, 2009

Filed under: faith,family — Scott @ 5:15 pm
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I’ve spent much of the last two weeks gazing into the face of my infant son Josiah. It is an awesome and fearful thing (in the old sense of both words) to become a father and to hold your son in your arms.

Josiah loves his daddy

Josiah loves his daddy

I had been told by many fathers that they inexplicably loved their children from the moment they lay eyes on them. That certainly held true for me, though I believe the love kicked in quite a bit before I saw him. I vividly remember being overwhelmed with love for my unborn child the first time I felt him kick Caryn’s womb.

I look at him and wonder at the love I feel for him. Where did it come from? Why do I love him so much? He has never done anything for me, and at this point I can’t imagine that he ever will. This is like nothing I have ever felt before. Why do I love him? No answer satisfies, except “because he is my son and I am his father.”

I am his father, and it is right that I should love him unconditionally. It would be wicked to fail to love.

Imagine if I did not love him! You would rightly call me a monster, an unfeeling wretch. How could a father not love his own child? This law seems written into the human soul – “fathers, love your children.” Even in a morally desensitized society we cringe at stories of parents who fail to love their children, who neglect or abuse, who shame, who murder.

A frantic thought passes through my mind as I gaze at Josiah. What if he doesn’t love me in return? I can’t imagine a worse end than that. Unrequited love between a man and a woman is painful indeed, but between a father and his child? How could a child not love the one who sired him? How could he reject the parents who conceived him, bore him, nursed him, fed him, cleaned him, raised him, trained him, gave him everything they possessed out of pure love?

That a child might reject and hate his loving father is a monstrous crime to imagine. Again, this law seems written in our souls: “children, honor your father and your mother.” We cringe at stories of children who reject and hate their loving parents. As we’ve grown in Christ, many of us have discovered the need to repent of little rebellions and hatreds in our hearts towards our parents, and to seek restoration. When I think of my own earthly father, I find this to be true:

I am his son, and it is right that I should love him in return. It would be wicked to fail to love.

Which brings me around to God the Father, revealed by Jesus to be his own eternal father and ours by adoption:

Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.
[John 1:12]

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba [Daddy], Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.
[Romans 8:15-16]

By nature of our being creations of God, we certainly owe him both obedience and love. After all, he created us and gave us everything that is good! But something even greater has been revealed to us by Jesus Christ – God the Father adopts those who are in Christ to be his own sons and daughters.

God is not a distant uninvolved watchmaker who set the universe spinning and then stepped back. He is a father, The Father, who is intimately involved in creation, and especially in the lives of those he has adopted into his own family.

Our Father loves us not because of anything we can do for him, but because we are his children. He loves us because we are his! That is a great comfort as we struggle through this life, limping along towards God, and wrestling with our sinful tendency towards rebellion.

Our clear duty as dearly loved children is to love and obey our heavenly Father in return. This truth is written into the hearts of all human beings – we are made to know and to love our creator God. For those who have been joined to Jesus Christ and thus adopted as children of Father God, we know this truth to run even deeper, for we relate to him as dearly loved children.

God loves us because he is our Father and we are his children. We love him in return as a child loves his parents, because he first loved us. God wove this magic into the fabric of the universe, and the fabric of human fatherhood, at the dawn of time. And he saw it, and it was very good.

 

How I became open to having children February 28, 2009

Filed under: faith,marriage,pregnancy — Scott @ 10:46 pm
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Sons are a heritage from the LORD,
children a reward from him.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one’s youth.
Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.
Ps 127:3-5

Now don’t get me wrong, I was never one of those guys who say they don’t want to have kids. No sir. From the time it became a pertinent question (namely engagement to marriage), I was firmly in the five-years-from-now camp.

The interesting thing about five-years-from-now is that it is always… five years from whenever “now” happens to be. In other words, postponed indefinitely.

I wasn’t against having children, in fact I always pictured myself eventually with children. But there were a lot of “really great reasons” for not having them anytime soon.

children are a blessing from the Lord

Over the last several years I’ve spent a great deal of time learning and teaching about sexuality – how God made us male and female, designed us for marriage, and gave us sex as a marital one-flesh bond and as a way to participate with him in the creation of new life. Sexuality and childbearing in scripture are intimately linked.

Throughout scripture, childbearing is consistently taught to be a great good. The inability to bear children (Abraham and Sarah for just one example) is often a major point of tension around which the plot revolves. And when that difficulty is overcome by a miracle of God it is a great act of his loving kindness worthy of writing down for posterity.

As the psalmist writes, children are a reward and a blessing from God. It is a great good for us when we bear children.

uncovering unbelief

But as I taught and wrote about God’s design of sexuality, I slowly became aware that biblical truth was in direct conflict with my personal feelings on the matter. Despite what scripture said, my feelings said that children mess up an otherwise very nice and quiet and non-smelly household. (more…)

 

Josiah Randolph – what’s in a name February 25, 2009

Filed under: faith,pregnancy — Scott @ 4:56 am
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Like most prospective parents, we looked through a couple “baby names” books looking for that perfect name for the future member of our family. We wrote down a handful of male and female names that passed first muster. The middle name was the easy part.

Randolph is Old English for “Wolf Shield”

As soon as I knew he was a boy, I knew I would give him the middle name of Randolph: a family name and my middle name. In addition to “Wolf Shield” it’s also variously rendered as “Wolf Counselor” or “House Wolf.” The idea is a fierce, half-wild but loyal guardian. If you’ve read White Fang and remember how he protected the human family that adopted him at the end of the book, you can grasp a good idea of what the name suggests to me.

Finding a First Name

Then I was looking through a list of Bible names and one jumped out at me: Josiah. Something about it immediately grabbed my interest. “What do you think about ‘Josiah’?” She liked it too.

The biblical story of King Josiah has always been one of my favorites. Most kids who have attended Sunday school regularly know of him as “Good King Josiah,” the boy who became king, and was one of Israel’s greatest kings. In a time when worship of the true God was all but forgotten, Josiah responded immediately when a priest came from the temple and presented the Law of God. He repented and initiated a program of social and religious reform.

Though he was young, he responded with wisdom and passion when confronted with God. I love the story. But I also love the meaning of the name… (more…)

 

Becoming A Dragon February 17, 2009

Filed under: books, music, media,faith — hokiecaryn @ 6:40 pm
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I just recently started reading Eragon in the popular new series by Christopher Paolini.  But this is not about that dragon; it’s just that it reminded me of something I wrote a few years ago at a time when we were in midst of other life change and transition. I thought it would be good to read again and share.

[2004] As our life continues to take its twists and turns, I’m reminded of the words I keep enjoying – from voices like John Eldridge and others – who write of the wildness of God and the adventure he has set out for us. Each day is a new glimpse of what the future holds. But with only glimpses, it has been hard to follow along a path full of danger and mystery.

Being back in Virginia has touched me deeply to realize the strong emotional impact this journey has been for us in these past 6 months.  In “survival” mode of transition, I think I hadn’t taken time to recognize the impact this journey has had on my heart and spirit.  I have just been shaken awake to a fresh reality of the battle that is going on for my heart.

voyageofdawntreader_eustaceMore than ever I have felt the power of things greater than me.  I wonder if I have really robed myself in the armor; have I ever REALLY let God be in control?  The battle drains my strength and weakens my knees. I wonder if I have been prepared for the true power of the pursuit — ravenous wolves who desire to take hold of the dear blessed place of gifts and salvation that my Hero has brought me.  Stealing my promised land from me before I enter it (thank you, Beth Moore).

We are reading through the Narnia Chronicles by C.S. Lewis*, and I was touched deeply by the following excerpt from The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. The excerpt is about Eustace, who has been dragged against his will into the magical world of Narnia. He is not a “child of imagination,” one who is intrigued by fairy tale and mystery. He also knows little of his own ugly character – selfish and greedy. (more…)

 

Realizing I Need Saving February 3, 2009

Filed under: faith,pregnancy — hokiecaryn @ 12:39 am
looking out upon the world

looking out upon the world

“When we open our eyes as babies we see the world stretching out around us; we are in the middle of it; all we see is determined by the relation of all objects to ourselves.  This will be true as long as we live.  I am the center of the world I see; where the horizon is depends on where I stand.  The same is true of our mental and spiritual vision.  Some things hurt us; we hope they will not happen again; we call them bad.  Some things please us; we hope they will happen again; we call them good.  Our standard of value is the way things affect ourselves.  So each of us takes his place in the center of his own world.  But I am NOT the center of the world, nor do I determine what is good or bad. I am not the center; God is.” – Archbishop William Temple describes our “posture” from which we are continually misled about true freedom.

Why does Jesus tell us, “if the Son sets you free you are free indeed”?  Do we need saving?  I’m not a slave to anyone; I live in the United States as a free citizen; I choose how I spend each day, I choose my life direction, don’t I?  I’m not a slave to anyone.  This is the lie the disciples revealed to Jesus in John 8; this is the lie we always believe.  We are misled to believe we are free.  Our lives are individual “centers” writes C. Fitzsimons Allison in the devotion I was reading this morning in Tabletalk Magazine.  He says “we think we are free when our wills are fulfilled and that we are not free when our wills our frustrated. But this universal self-as-center is the cause of litigation, divorce, rivalry, murder, war and genocide.  It is not a condition of FREEDOM but one of BONDAGE.”  Allison goes on to say that we make some semblance of order of freedom in civilization itself, and by education, law and order.  But I’d argue that those even at their core have become corrupt and knocked off a foundation to the point that even they can not truly grant freedom; a far cry from original Truth and Freedom for which we settle.

On a personal level, I know my stubbornness gets in the way, and I think I’ve got a lot of things under my control and don’t need the help from a savior.  That’s when things are going okay and “my will is fulfilled and not frustrated”.  What do I need saving from?  I’ve got it!  Yet when I experience His true freedom; even amidst chaos or frustrated wills (more so then!), it’s those times that the rest of life looks a bit more colorless.  It is when HE is in control, that I release myself to His leading that I find true freedom, experience His goodness and his peace.

(more…)

 

Quote from Augustine, Childbirth and Crash-o-Rama November 16, 2008

Filed under: faith,pregnancy — hokiecaryn @ 9:11 am
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Our bodies are shaped to bear children, and our lives are a working out of the processes of creation. All our ambitions and intelligence are beside that great elemental point.

- Saint Augustine

I ran across this online; I’m actually not sure where exactly it was written. I thought it fit well in the discussion of the importance of creation and new life, pregnancy and birth; and the process of growing in community, as he says, working out the process of creation.

I have been reading a lot of childbirth stories through my research.  What’s amazing to me is that these women, even those who have these somewhat traumatic experiences as far as the length of their labor, and the back pain, or some particular part of it that was really hard, at the end, they’re glowing and thankful for their experiences.  After some steps we’ve taken, I can understand how they are enthralled with the encouraging atmosphere they are in, one who empowers their choices, their strength and continually encourages them that they can do it.  They have dedicated midwives or doulas who stick with them the entire labor process, and a good partner (their husband) who continues to love them through the journey.  I believe many people can have a similar experience in the hospital, I just happen to be reading ones who have birthed at home or in birth centers.

I realized today, and this even reflects some on the Augustine quote above, that I continue to be encouraged by writings and a class I took wednesday by a midwife, that our bodies were actually made for childbirth.  While complications and our tolerance to the pains may vary, in the end, the baby will come out. I read these stories about women, even like I said, with these somewhat miserable experiences of pain, and it actually reminds me of my experience at my first “Crash-O-Rama.”  This may be weird, but stick with me.

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Reflections on “The Scarlet Letter” by Nathaniel Hawthorne November 9, 2008

Filed under: faith — hokiecaryn @ 9:11 pm
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I’ve taken to picking up some of the classics the past couple of years. Just this week I picked up and read the Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne. While I knew roughly about the woman bearing her mark of adultery and the life that it created for her, I knew little about the structure and presentation of how Hawthorne would offer this story. I found it to be an intriguing surprise, and I’m glad I now know the novel from personal experience. I probably enjoyed it more since it was by choice and not as assignment to be able to answer questions on the test! I did find myself reflective and thought I would share some of what I’ve processed….I guess I wrote an essay anyway, but I’m free to be wrong because there’s no red pen here; of course I am open to other thoughts.

We find ourselves in the seventeenth century small Puritan village of Boston. Hester Prynne, our heroine (so to speak), walks out of the town prison carrying her infant daughter, Pearl, and emblazoned with a scarlet letter “A” on her breast. There is mystery to this story; some pieces which are revealed, some left in mystery. We meet three adult characters intertwined in the drama – Hester, her lover Dimmsdale, and Hester’s vengeful husband, Chillingsworth (who’s adopted a new identity and only Hester knows his true person). I was surprised how little the book was about the storyline itself; how this all came about. It was more an introspective journey of Hester and Dimmsdale, plagued in their sin and secrecy. There was also commentary on the village, the church, some introspection of this conniving and dark husband; there is also story about the young wild-hearted daughter, Pearl, finding her place in the world.

I would venture to say that the scarlet letter itself is much like The Ring in the Lord of the Rings – a character of it’s own, bearing power and influence on Hester and those around her.

My take away of this story is about the torture of hidden sin on the heart, especially when accompanied by a misunderstanding of God’s grace and love for us; and the tendency of broken humanity to want to point their finger at the “worst sinner” hoping no one will notice their own depravity.

What has probably made this the timeless classic that it is, is not just a bashing of a church of hypocrisy that people can rally together on; I believe more so it is Hawthorne’s profound insight to the corrosion of hidden sin on the human heart. Reading it from a different worldview than his own, I would even venture to say there is more truth revealed here than Hawthorne’s intended. It is a good study for those of us in the Church to be reminded of how not to be. Not to point fingers at “those Christians” who do “those mean things,” but to honestly reconcile our own depravity and reliance on God and community to thrive in our Christian journey. It is also a reminder of how we can and should pursue God’s redemptive community of grace.
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The Pursuit of Happiness, entry 2 October 1, 2008

Filed under: faith — hokiecaryn @ 12:14 pm
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[read The Pursuit of Happiness, entry 1 first]

This article was extremely challenging to me. It’s a ground-shaker during a time of political and economic turmoil and dissatisfaction. A time when I along with several can have fears of losing our liberties if things go the “wrong” direction, I am challenged to remember what we do have, and how we take it for granted. How we have more than anyone could ever imagine, and how losing some of that, we’ll still be better off than most of the world from this perspective. It is easy always to thrust our wealthy American perspective on the world and assume that believers around the world who are persecuted for their faith and existence, are somehow in worse shape than we are because we have new cars, large homes, and 20 kinds of pretzels to choose from at the supermarket.

As my pastor reminded me this week, if we lost our home to financial failure and had to live out of our car, we’d be better off still than 90% or so of the world’s population in material status and health, etc. But what does all this “stuff” lose for us when it comes to spirituality and the priorities of God? Do we rely too much on our government and our possessions to find happiness? Is that the ultimate pursuit? As I continue to reckon with this discussion of happiness and freedom, my devotion booklet again has some interesting insight that was challenging to me and I hope it may find other readers who would consider it.

Below are excerpts from “The Greatest Treasure,” written by RC Sproul, Jr., published in TableTalk magazine, Sept 2008. I hope reprinting this is okay!

Burma, now called Myanmar, is a third-world country in Southeast Asia [and 80% Buddhist]… Last fall the government cut down hundreds of demonstrators who only wanted a touch of reform. It is a long way from the land of the free and home of the brave.

I went there [and] couldn’t help but think of what a difference it would make where these good people to be given some liberty. If only, I wondered, God would bless these people the way He once blessed our country, who knows what wonders they might do?

As…I got to know my hosts [underground christian leaders] and witness their ministry at work in that tragic land, my perspective changed. While freedom is a good thing and a blessing, what they have is far more valuable. These are men and women who are content in God’s grace; whom we would see as the man robbed and left for dead along the road, but who see themselves as the Samaritan. We pity them, but they serve those who are truly in need. These are men and women whose love for each other constructs an alternate nation, a holy nation.

…they are sitting on a surplus of biblical fidelity, mutual love, and true Christ-honoring freedom that we so desperately need on our shores. We don’t need to go over there and rescue them. We need them to come and rescue us.

Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are wonderful things, blessings from the hand of God Himself. That said, Jesus tells us that if we would gain our lives, we must first die. Jesus tells us that it is His truth, not this political party or that, not this tax burden or that, which would set us free. Jesus tells us that we ought not to be pursuing happiness, but that instead we should seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. Jesus tells us what His priorities are…how we are to live as citizens of the kingdom we are pursuing…

We must first be set free from our appetites, our idolatries, our desires for the things the pagans chase after. But if we pursue Jesus and find Him, just as my friends have in Burma, then even the yoke of political expression is easy, the burden of grinding poverty is light. If we have the pearl of great price, hidden where neither rust nor moth, nor thieves, nor bureaucrats can get at it, then we will no longer pursue happiness. We will have found it.

Jesus did not demand His rights, but gave them up. He now rules over all men, and he calls us to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness.

 

The Pursuit of happiness, entry 1 September 16, 2008

Filed under: faith — hokiecaryn @ 7:06 pm
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I was reading this and found it very profound and worth a read, especially in these times of political turmoil and when we question (or at least I do) the actual values of this country and how we protect them; whether we even know what they are. I’ve taken excerpts; it’s a bit long for web posting. But worth the read. I have been wrestling with this very issue on a more personal scale, and amidst other people in my life as they, too, pursue this thing called happiness. I have felt unrest and disappointment at people seeming swept up with a cultural belief that we deserve this so called happiness, which I think demoralizes us, and really sells us short of the Life we are truly called to.

Ken Myers, someone I respect a lot, has really put together an intellectual study on what I’ve been trying to figure out. Here are some excerpts from “The Pursuit of Happiness” by Ken Myers, host and producer of Mars Hill Audio, published in Sept 08 TableTalk Magazine, a resource of Ligonier Ministries).

First some background to the phrase and philosophy of “the pursuit of happiness”:

Wdeclofindepsigners_smhen Thomas Jefferson selected the phrase “the pursuit of happiness” to describe one of the unalienable rights of man, he was appropriating an idea with a very long history. Since the time of Aristotle and before, happiness was understood as a condition to which all people properly aspire… But [it] was an objective reality, not just a feeling or an emotional state.

In Christian terms, the pursuit of happiness meant recognizing that God had created us to flourish in the context of obedience to Him so that our image-bearing nature might display his glory. The pursuit of happiness was only possible by grace [because of our sin and waywardness], since we cannot by our own strength resist the disordering effects of sin in our lives.

So happiness on the historic account is really a function of sanctification, of growth in holy obedience. That formulation would no doubt come as a shock to most of our contemporaries, perhaps even many Christians, though it would have probably caused a nod of affirmation from most pagan philosophers.

So, at the time our nation was founded, the philosophies were committed to the idea of the individual as sovereign in his moral authority, thus happiness became a pursuit of pleasure, fun and bliss.

This state need have no correlation to the ethical choices one has made; in fact, many Americans seem committed to pursuing this kind of happiness by means of making bad ethical choices: committing adultery, dishonoring their parents, killing their unborn children, abusing their bodies. When happiness becomes merely a mood, the sustaining of which is the highest good, rules tend to get broken.

Not only has happiness been detached from objective human ends and identified uncritically with personal pleasure, the pleasures assumed to be the source of happiness are increasingly the most trivial and fleeting. Submitting to the dictates of fun morality makes the passive consumption of entertainment a more plausible road to happiness than subtler, more demanding pleasures like learning to play the violin, acquiring a love of literature, or cultivating a beautiful garden.

As it happens, the dominant assumption that happiness is a custom-built project with potentially instant payoffs does not seem to have made most people that much happier. [Quoting John P Barrow from "The Pursuit of Emptiness" on his acquaintances living in what he calls the 'Prozac Nation'] “They are not pursuing happiness, they are fleeing suicide.”

Trying to find happiness on our own terms, rather than on the terms of our Creator is an exhausting and disappointing undertaking.

So, are we indeed selling ourselves short?

The recovery of a richer vision for human happiness is a project for which Christians are uniquely suited. We believe we are made to delight in the knowledge and love of God, to find our fulfillment as creatures only as we walk in His ways. Knowing also that we live in a world disordered by sin, we recognize that true blessedness will often, until Christ returns, involve suffering, persecution and sacrifice. Our happiness is not a right, but a gift from one who was a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief.

“If you keep my commandments,” Jesus promised,” you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full” (John 15:10-22).

The pursuit of such single-minded faithfulness, not simple-minded fun, is the true road to human happiness.

Enough Said!

 

 
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