TeamDavis

I was thinking about autumn before it was here.  Not to over-romanticize it, but I thought about its arrival as the arrival of an old friend.  But I had a slight hesitation wondering whether I’d love it as much as I remembered.  As with an old friend you haven’t seen in a long time, you remember that you got along well, but many years have passed and you aren’t quite sure how you’ll get along as the “older and wiser” versions of yourselves.

Well, I have reconnected with both autumn and actual old friends and so far all experiences have been pleasant!  We are loving autumn, the beautiful change in color, the crisp fall mornings.  I’m even enjoying the days of temps from the 40s to the high 70s and having to remember to wear layers!

Since we moved back, we have already had the privilege of seeing several old friends.  Several of our friends live here in Blacksburg still, and some have swung back through for a visit.  Ironically, we moved to the land of Disney and everyone said, “Make sure you have room; people will all want to come visit you.”  Aside from a handful of visits including our parents, this was not very true for us.  But we moved back here, and in the first couple of weeks we were getting notice of friends coming through week after week.

Many of the friends we’ve been able to reconnect with, though we’ve been parted by miles and very different experiences, there is much common ground in our lives.  So we’ve been pleasantly surprised at how our “new selves” connect with each other, and we can appreciate our past relationships as well.

This past weekend, we reminisced and newly enjoyed our friends the Thorsons who were in town.  Distanced by several states, and then 1/4 of the globe for the last few years, we’re finally within a few hours drive of each other, and they were visiting Blacksburg for a wedding.  We had a very fun night talking at the good ole’ Macados restaurant here in Blacksburg.  While nothing seemed to have changed in that eclectically decorated restaurant, our conversation throughout the evening (mostly regarding parenting and children) has definitely changed.  But they were moments I will treasure along with memories of our old friendship.

The Thorsons left Sunday morning, and in the mood to embrace autumn again this past weekend, we forsook the house projects (and church in the traditional sense) and headed out to the Blue Ridge Parkway.  The drive out Route 8 is beautiful itself, and only sparsely populated.  The inviting town of Floyd was here and gone quickly and in about 10 more minutes we were to the familiar entrance to the Parkway.

We pulled off a few seconds later at the first of many scenic overlooks and enjoyed looking out over “The Saddle.”  We took in the view, chatted with other visitors, and Josiah walked along the rock wall several times.  Itching to stretch our legs, we took a path just off to the side up an incline to a small frame structure with a beautiful view.  We were surprised how daring Josiah was climbing around on the incline and the rocks, and he actually walked the way back down the trail, which was steep in places – like most trails it had many challenges of roots, rocks, and slippery spots.  But he was an amazing little trooper.

Then we drove a little further to Chateau Morrisette Winery.  They were having a bit of food and music starting soon, and we just wandered around, did some wine tasting and let Josiah walk all over.  He found a couple other toddlers to play with, running around in the grass, and the enjoyed the store at the winery.  Then it was time to pack up and head home for naps.

It was a lovely day.  I look forward to treasuring interaction with more old friends, including the beautiful places around this area that are part of what kept us in love with Southwest Virginia even after we left.

I always thought the “Virginia is for Lovers” slogan was a little silly; I guess it doesn’t seem as broad reaching in a lot of ways if you think of it as only a getaway for couples or something.  But I know that it can be much broader in the definition of lovers. I have been reminded these last two days that I am a lover of Virginia, especially the area of southwest Virginia where we have found ourselves once again. I am a lover of other people and things, and I can find many of those people, places, and experiences here in Virginia. So I guess it makes sense to me as we return.

The 2 hour plane trip from Florida left me a bit dissatisfied in the leaving process.  I was grateful to have a short trip where my toddler was confined less than 1/6th of the time that he would have been in the car. But there is something good about physically driving from sea to mountain through the states.  For that I have my husband’s experience as he called me along the way to live vicariously through.  It was also awkward to not share the actual move with my husband as he went ahead of us.  But I know many people have to move for jobs weeks or months before their families can join them. So I am thankful that our separation was only minor.

I find myself wondering slightly if the last 7 years was all a dream. How odd that feels. It of course was such a significant expanse of our lives, and yet, being back where I came from, something about it seems unreal.  My friend who did a similar move and return to the same place said she felt the same way sometimes, so maybe I’m not alone.

We have felt so cared for.  In the days before coming and the days after we arrived, our friends here have already stepped in like we never left and reached out a caring hand. There are no words to describe how wonderful that feels.  I feel unworthy, and question whether I have it in me to do the same.  I am still so exhausted and feel it will take me a while of recovery to get back to “normal” still, although it feels less far away than it did in December.  I have to just accept where I am, what I can not be right now, and accept the love and friendship that we have without doubting my own worthiness.

Thank you friends for your care.

In December, I made a desperate call for help to a counselor and began a fast-paced journey through some of the baggage and wounding I have experienced. I sensed the cloud beginning to lift, and interestingly that’s when I finally realized how far I’d gone and how much I wanted out of the darkness.  The small bit of light gave me hope that there was more, and made me realize how dark the darkness truly was; the clouds heavy and thick.  The irony in this is I left the “Sunshine state” to come back to a place that has many more cloudy days.  But I am praying and hoping that this radical change for us will be sunnier in the long run.

I felt ushered out, released to move on.  In the last couple of weeks, I was certainly sad as I said good-byes to dear friends who have walked alongside us through many adventures and misadventures, if you will.  Dear friends who we do miss.  I had slight moments of questioning and doubt; is this the right move? Should we really do this and leave this known quantity behind?

But in the last couple of days, especially after Scott was on the road, I was anxious to get out.  Though thankful for friend support in the final days, and my dad’s company through it, I was done and ready to go.

As Josiah and I took off from the tarmac in Sanford Airport, I had a flood of memories and thoughts about the last few years. I waved at the last palm trees I might see for a while, and to a paradise that so many people seek out.  I said good bye and joined the other millions of people who would now consider Florida as a destination, not a home.  As we flew into Blacksburg, we left the sun and blue sky and descended into a thick blanket of cloud and fog cover.  To some, it may have felt depressing, to me, the experience felt warm and cozy and familiar.  As I saw the shape of Mill Mountain, and the other peaks around the city of Roanoke, I was anxious to set my feet in my new homeland.  The flight attendant on the loud speaker said the line about if this was your final destination, that she hoped we enjoyed our stay, or whatever it is they say.  And it is.  For some unknown amount of time, I will re-adjust my heart and head to embrace SW Virginia, Blacksburg area as my final destination until further notice.

I wait expectantly and hopefully to what that might mean.

The first evening, after unloading some of our things, and eating a tasty friend-brought meal, we took a stroll with Josiah through the neighborhood where we are staying.  We visited with a couple of friends along the way, we watched tee-ball practice, and horseshoes, and sat in peace … and soft grass!  Scott and I looked at each other and said we could get used to this.  I know that busyness will find us.  I know it may be other circumstances and events that make us stop and smell the roses.  But I hope we have at least a season here where we can enjoy the little things about our new lives.