So, since we’ve had Josiah out in public, people are always looking at him adoringly and saying how they LOVE that stage — 
newborn/infant. Often this comes to us after a long night, or a difficult no-sleeping day, so it’s hard for us to believe. The hours of crying and fussing and unable to console our child leaves us bedraggled and sleep-less. It’s hard to sense that someone could LONG for those days.
But, I know that’s not what they mean.
They mean the cuddling stage, the small little bundle of joy in your arms keeping you cozy and loved feeling. The gazes from your infant into your eyes with the boundless and unconditional love for you. The smiles, the giggles, and the warm naps on your shoulder. Those things are precious.
Josiah is almost 16 weeks old, and he’s in 6 month clothes, and he’s becoming much more active and fun. There have been much better days of sleep and naps, and we’re excited for progress. He loves being able to stretch his legs and stand up, or sit up right (still needs help, but he doesn’t like lying down anymore). We jokingly say he’s done being a baby and speak for him saying “that bouncy seat is for babies…I don’t need to be in that anymore.” Just the other day, as he was falling asleep in my arms on a good day, I gazed down at him and had this flash forward moment and started crying realizing that soon he’d be wanting to walk around, and would be squirming out of my arms all the time to investigate and explore.
I realize that relatively soon, this stage will be over; I really do need to enjoy it while it lasts. He’s no longer the sleepy little eating-pooping-warm-blob that he kind of was for the first few weeks. He’s becoming more independent (relatively, of course) and chatty with goos and coos. He’s still clingy enough, and still can’t handle sitting on his own all the time.So I really want to and need to embrace the moments while I have them.
It’s a little easier on good days. But when I have a “good day”, I notice that he’s happier, and generally more independent and I can put him down and get some things done. Looking back on that in this reflection, I realize those “good days” will become more frequent and we wont’ be in the cuddly stage quite so much. So I don’t plan to coddle him or anything, but just I don’t want to be looking so far ahead to the next thing that I do miss out on this stage, even if some parts of it have been and continue to be extremely difficult.
In good news, he slept almost 12 hrs last night — 7:30 pm – 7:30 am. Not perfectly, and there were times he woke up crying, sometimes to eat. He fussed and squirmed and woke himself up with his sad little gas and such. But really, it was quite a miracle and like what the books tell you they should be doing around 4 months.
So I have hope that we are making progress, and that we’ll see delightful changes. But as the first 3 months slip into memory, I’m actually starting to have some moments of missing them. It is weird. Someday I’ll probably be telling someone that I miss that stage as they hold a few week old in their arm. I guess it’s the grace of God to help us lose memory of the difficulty and cling to the joys. Not everyone will; not everyone can. But I know that God has this built in so we’ll keep having kids!
Anyway, so trying to savor the moments. I’m realizing how much attitude affects my parenting, and I am glad I have some time to be trained in patience and endurance for the long run.
