Sons are a heritage from the LORD,
children a reward from him.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one’s youth.
Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.
Ps 127:3-5
Now don’t get me wrong, I was never one of those guys who say they don’t want to have kids. No sir. From the time it became a pertinent question (namely engagement to marriage), I was firmly in the five-years-from-now camp.
The interesting thing about five-years-from-now is that it is always… five years from whenever “now” happens to be. In other words, postponed indefinitely.
I wasn’t against having children, in fact I always pictured myself eventually with children. But there were a lot of “really great reasons” for not having them anytime soon.
children are a blessing from the Lord
Over the last several years I’ve spent a great deal of time learning and teaching about sexuality – how God made us male and female, designed us for marriage, and gave us sex as a marital one-flesh bond and as a way to participate with him in the creation of new life. Sexuality and childbearing in scripture are intimately linked.
Throughout scripture, childbearing is consistently taught to be a great good. The inability to bear children (Abraham and Sarah for just one example) is often a major point of tension around which the plot revolves. And when that difficulty is overcome by a miracle of God it is a great act of his loving kindness worthy of writing down for posterity.
As the psalmist writes, children are a reward and a blessing from God. It is a great good for us when we bear children.
uncovering unbelief
But as I taught and wrote about God’s design of sexuality, I slowly became aware that biblical truth was in direct conflict with my personal feelings on the matter. Despite what scripture said, my feelings said that children mess up an otherwise very nice and quiet and non-smelly household. (more…)
As soon as I knew he was a boy, I knew I would give him the middle name of Randolph: a family name and my middle name. In addition to “Wolf Shield” it’s also variously rendered as “Wolf Counselor” or “House Wolf.” The idea is a fierce, half-wild but loyal guardian. If you’ve read White Fang and remember how he protected the human family that adopted him at the end of the book, you can grasp a good idea of what the name suggests to me.
While there were some parts of the class that came from a perspective we don’t agree with (Darwinian just-so stories, mainly), overall it was helpful and enjoyable. We drew a labyrinth and talked through how this (like many life experiences) can be visualized in a labyrinth — predicting there will be stretches of clear straight-aways, coming up to walls that stop us, hitting dead ends, coming close to the center and being thrown back out to an outer edge…and finally coming around to the main destination. It was nice to engage the visual aspect of our brains and discuss where we forsaw these parallels coming in. And then also having an experienced mother share some of her own insights on some places to expect these bumps and progresses.
The final thing I did was work with clay and express whatever…I created this piece. I could go into what it may mean, but as Sandra said, the clay just comes to life and speaks. I enjoyed this activity and engaging that part of my brain with this experience; it seems very important to such a large event in our life and especially in processing all the preparation, doubts, concerns, excitements for this life change!
I have been reading a lot of childbirth stories through my research. What’s amazing to me is that these women, even those who have these somewhat traumatic experiences as far as the length of their labor, and the back pain, or some particular part of it that was really hard, at the end, they’re glowing and thankful for their experiences. After some steps we’ve taken, I can understand how they are enthralled with the encouraging atmosphere they are in, one who empowers their choices, their strength and continually encourages them that they can do it. They have dedicated midwives or doulas who stick with them the entire labor process, and a good partner (their husband) who continues to love them through the journey. I believe many people can have a similar experience in the hospital, I just happen to be reading ones who have birthed at home or in birth centers.
